Staying Stuck in the Past Can Cause You Pain

Do you find yourself thinking about events or people from the past, to the point you feel emotional pain and a sense of regret?  The past can be a powerful force, one that’s not easy to forget, especially when you give it your attention for any length of time. The more you dwell upon the past, the more you cultivate an attachment to it, whether you are focused on one memory that’s affected you, or several memories. It’s an attachment to your past, when there are negative memories and emotions experienced, which can cause ongoing pain within you.

Any time you feel pain, or allow pain to dwell within you, your internal well-being is disrupted. While this may all begin with one memory you seem to get stuck on, the longer time goes with this memory still left lingering, the more it will grow like a seed that’s been planted and cultivated. The reason why is due to the energetic nature of memories, both positive and negative. You can choose to focus on positive memories and feel happy. Yet it seems to be easier for many people to reply trauma, perceived failures, events which created fear, and other negative types of memories. These memories may be triggered by any number of reasons, often circumstances which are less than ideal.

Consider how your mind processes hundreds of thoughts at any given time. When you focus on memories of any kind, you give those thoughts energy, and over time that energy forms an attachment. Now if most people would focus on positive accomplishments and achievements in their lives, they could know how it is possible to live in a harmonious state of internal well-being. But this doesn’t seem to be the case. It’s negative memories that come to the forefront easier and quicker than any other, which means there is a greater likelihood of disruption possible to a natural state of peacefulness.

My Quest for Knowledge: The following is what I learned while attuned to my higher power. I sit quietly, focus my thoughts on a beginning question, and allow thoughts to flow through my mind.

Dear Ones: Every day memories are being made as thoughts are being processed. However, most memories, like most thoughts, are either discarded or long forgotten if there is no context made with them. You can understand this simply with a review of the events of your day, most of which you will have likely forgotten within a couple of days. Now if there are significant events which occurred that are tied to a specific date and time, then you will have a memory that will stay active in your mind for some time. Even then, those memories may be forgotten over time, as other memories are formed that hold greater significance.

Learning as a Memory

Whenever you learn something, you create a memory. The reason why is you are focused on what you are doing, as you are in the process of learning, you are usually interested in it, and for a time you are adding context to it. How long you remember it, as to a memory, depends upon the usefulness of the information being stored. But overall, learning is an intentional process and creates a memory, typically without emotions. These types of memories you will call upon as needed, and rarely will you feel a negative emotional reaction when you do. You can feel a positive emotional response, if the learning was associated with a goal you had established, and it occurred within a formal classroom environment.

When Negative Memories Create Pain

Thinking about a past event, or even someone from your past, may spark a negative emotional reaction. If you can recognize it and move on from it, there is no lasting pain that will result from that thoughtful moment. However, if you continue to dwell upon that thought, or associated thoughts which accompany it, this is when you can begin to create a cycle of pain. The reason for this is the nature of negative energy, and an ability of negative energy to continue to attract more negative energy. If you dwell upon a particular painful negative event or person long enough, you will soon find yourself thinking about other related events and people. Before long, you are going to find yourself feeling a lot of discomfort inside.

When you have developed an attachment to a negative event or negative energetic memory, you are allowing it to transmit actively within your mind. This transmission is like a beacon, sending off signals that continually remind you about the details of the memory, which is why you will likely begin to remember aspects of the memory you thought you had forgotten. This will only serve to intensify the discomfort and feeling of pain within you. It perpetuates a cycle of the past that comes into your present focus. This will also prevent you from moving forward in your life, if you are continually thinking about the past, and what could have or should have been done differently. You’ll be too busy focusing on the pain to be watching for present opportunities and thinking about new ways to grow.  

Breaking the Attachment to the Past

When you have gotten so attached to memories of the past you are now feeling pain, you simply cannot tell yourself to stop. You need a process to help you work through it, until you find relief and release the attachment. The following steps can help you break the attachment to past memories, any time you find yourself focusing too long on events and people from the past, especially when it is causing you pain.

Acknowledge the Memory and the Pain: The first step in any form of recovery is the acknowledgement phase, which means you are doing more than just denying what you’ve felt. You face it head-on and take the fear out of being attached to it. Call it out and name it as the memory it has been. Then you can move forward, regardless of how painful the memory has been for you.

Break the Focus and the Attachment: There is a reason why you began to focus on this specific event and/or person to begin with, and it may be something you’ve seen or read recently that prompted your memory. It could also be something unresolved from your past you have not dealt with and needed to for some reason. In other words, there could be any number of reasons why you are focused backwards, instead of forward. If you are holding tight to this past memory, you may need professional help, such as therapy or counseling. But if you can decide on your own that you can release the attachment, then this is the time to do so. You must decide you can and you will, in order to move forward to the next step.

Turn Your Focus and Attention Forward: The quickest method of breaking the attachment is to decide the past cannot keep its hold on you, and turn your attention to the future. If you can decide to focus on your goals, the path ahead of you, and even anything specific about your life now, you will find the past must release its power over your thoughts. When you become so busy planning your life, and making it worthwhile to live now, the past will not matter, as it shouldn’t. The past provided stepping stones and lessons learned. Now you have an uncertain amount of time ahead of you, so make the most of what you have now, and focus your thoughts, along with your attention, on what matters most for your life.

Healing Your Internal Pain

There is no question past memories can cause you pain, and your attention to the past can disrupt a positive frame of reference you’ve held about yourself. As you begin to break the cycle of attachment to the past, be it specific events and/or people, you will soon experience internal healing as well. This will come about as you take control of your life now, along with the future you’ll create. The reason why is this: When you spend so much time upsetting yourself over the past, you put yourself in a mindset of frustration simply because you cannot change anything you’re thinking about. Yet when you focus forward, you have many options available to you, as to what you are capable of controlling. And it’s not about controlling people and circumstances, rather it’s about controlling your state of mind and taking action to help shape what you do to create a better life for yourself.

Are you ready to release your attachment to the past, and begin focusing on a future filled with possibilities?

Author’s Note: I hope you Read and Believe in your ability to find a path to transformation and spiritual self-discovery. You have found a place where you can be inspired to read, and more importantly, you can choose to believe what you connect with as you read.

With love for all,

Bruce J: Intuitive Teacher and Spiritual Author

You can order an autographed copy of Bruce J’s first book, Discover Laws of the Universe: Your Guide to Personal and Spiritual Transformation: Bruce J’s Book